Marriage and the Church

Marriage is a beautiful thing when understood rightly and in the context of  the Christian faith.  Today, the definition of marriage has been twisted and perverted and made to be something it was never intended to be all in the name of "equal rights."  A marriage is so much more than two people who love each other.  You need more than just love to make a marriage work, and work well.  A marriage needs some sort of unifying force.  Something greater than the sinful and imperfect love of humans.  For the Christian, that is Christ.  Any marriage that is truly centered on Christ and Christ alone will not falter.  Yes, there will be ups and downs, but the bond between the couple, if centered in Christ, will not break.  A marriage that falls apart is due to the sinful desires of one or both partners, so the marriage that fails is not centered on Christ but sinful human desire.

Revelation 19:6 Then I heard something like the voice of a vast multitude, like the sound of cascading waters, and like the rumbling of loud thunder, saying:
Hallelujah, because our Lord God, the Almighty,
has begun to reign!
7 Let us be glad, rejoice, and give Him glory,
because the marriage of the Lamb has come,
and His wife has prepared herself.
8 She was given fine linen to wear, bright and pure.
For the fine linen represents the righteous acts of the saints.
9 Then he said to me, “Write: Those invited to the marriage feast of the Lamb are fortunate!” He also said to me, “These words of God are true.” 10 Then I fell at his feet to worship him, but he said to me, “Don’t do that! I am a fellow slave with you and your brothers who have the testimony about Jesus. Worship God, because the testimony about Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.”

This passage describes the marriage of Christ to his church.

Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, 23 for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. 27 He did this to present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. 28 In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, 30 since we are members of His body.
31 For this reason a man will leave
his father and mother
and be joined to his wife,
and the two will become one flesh.
32 This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.

These verses further the link between marriage of a man and a woman with Christ and his Church.  A man is to be the head of the home as Christ is head of the church.  He is to love his wife as Christ loves the church.  He is to keep her pure and clean and keep pointing her towards Christ.  Likewise the wife is to submit to her husband as the church submits to Christ.  For this purpose, men and women leave their childhood homes and become one flesh in marriage, a marriage that unifies them in Christ.

I know that submission is something that many women have issues with, but I think it is because it is misunderstood.  Just think of submission to your husband this way.  If you, as wife, are supposed to represent the church and your husband is supposed to represent Christ, then imagine that your husband IS Christ.  So if your husband, who is supposed to represent the Lord Jesus Christ looked at you and said, "Honey I don't think we need new curtains or a new whatever.  I think we can use that money in a better way."  What is your first reaction?  "But I really want it!" You grumble and complain against your husband for being denied something you WANT.  While you are grumbling against your husband, you are grumbling against Christ. Against Christ!!!  The one who loved you in such a way that he went to the cross and died the most horrible death to save you from the depths of hell.  He died, sacrificed himself, so you could have the most wonderful future with God and himself in the everlasting kingdom of God. When you do not submit to your husband's authority, then you are therefore not submitting to Christ.  Now, I am not saying that you must obey EVERYTHING your husband would want for you. Remember, he still sins.  He must represent Christ, but as a man, he is still under the sin nature and will not perform that duty perfectly.  You must use your own judgement to discern when your husband is requesting of you in Christ or requesting of you through sin.  If what your husband request of you would lead you, your husband or your family to sin, then, you have every right to speak to your husband and refuse the request by explaining why you will not fulfill it.  It does not have to be an argument.

I have been blessed with a wonderful husband who does his best to represent Christ.  We have only really had one real argument in the seven years we have been married.  We had just moved away from home, almost 10 hours away, the first time I had been away from home.  We had to use a laundry mat to wash our cloths, first time for that too.  Well, my husband was supposed to get quarters for us to use the machines.  He did not because he did not know where the machine was.  (It was located in another building that was not near the laundry mat)  Well, we only had enough to wash one load and we had 3 or so.   I made a comment to him that was something like "you were supposed to get the quarters or we should have gone to find the quarter machine" and I; not sure why my husband  got mad, I do not really remember, but he did.  He said something not so nice, again I don't remember exactly what, and he proceeded to leave the laundry mat and leave me by myself.  Of course I burst into tears, which my husband melted at and the argument was over.  He stayed and we had quarters every week from then on.  From then on, we have not really argued to the point of getting mad at each other.  If fact, there are very few people who have EVER seen me mad, and my husband has never see it, truly.  I was not mad above, just hurt.  Instead of arguing every time there is a disagreement or misunderstanding, you both need to sit and discuss it.  See what the Bible says about the issue.  Why do you want it this way and why does he want it another.  Sometimes the situation just needs some clarification or explanation that cannot be given if you two are yelling and angry.

Now a woman may say, "but my husband is not a Christian, so he cannot represent Christ, because he does not know Christ."  Well, the Bible says this:

1 Peter 3:1 In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the Christian message, they may be won over without a message by the way their wives live 2 when they observe your pure, reverent lives.

Even if your husband is not saved, you should  submit to him in so much that he does not hinder your walk with God.  If you continue to live as Christ would have you live, you my be able to win your husband to Christ without saying a word, but by the way you live your life and treat him and your family.  Just because your husband is not saved, doesn't mean you do not have to submit.

Marriage is so much more than "I love you."  It is a way of life in which you and your husband demonstrate Christ's love for his church through the way you live, in loving, caring, submitting, and every other good and pleasing thing to God.

Slow to Speak

James 1:19 My dearly loved brothers, understand this: Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger, 20 for man’s anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness.

This describes me pretty well.  I feel as though I am quick to hear and slow to speak.  Most of the time I do not get angry, and I rarely speak out of anger.  I tend to hold it in.  If you cannot tell from the first sentence, this will be a very personal post.  It will be a lot of information about me and how I work, why I do what I do and don't do what others think I should.

Earlier this week, I was accused (using the word lightly. I was not offended in anyway by what was said, because it was all true and is something I need to work on) of being too quite and unwilling to open up, particularly to those in my Bible Study group.  They are right.  I do not speak much in public.  I do not speak much in groups, unless I am close with every person in the group.  In just about every Sunday School class or Bible Study I have been in, I just sit.  I listen.  I do not volunteer answers.  If I am asked my opinion, I will usually give it if I have one.

Proverbs 23:12 Apply yourself to discipline and listen to words of knowledge.

Again, this is something that describes me.  I am the youngest person in my Bible Study.  I am the one who has the shortest marriage, the youngest child.  I know I am not the newest Christian, but given my background and the church I grew up in and the shape of that church's theology at that time (It has improved since then!) I did not know much of anything about a real life in Christ until about 4 years ago when my husband and I went to Kentucky for him to attend Seminary. (I do feel I was saved before then, just did not have an environment that encouraged growth.)  We learned then what a real Christ fearing church was supposed to be like.  Anywho, what I am getting at is that I view the other women in my Bible Study as having more experience in certain areas of life that we are specifically discussing and feel as though what they have to say will benefit me more than me opening my mouth with my inexperience in those areas.

I am also the type of person that must thoroughly think through what I want to say before I say it, especially if it is something that should require thought, like my position on certain theological issues or my opinion on certain things within the church.  I want to make sure I say what I want and I want to make sure I make sense in what I say without having to clarify or restate.  I mentioned to one friend that I express myself better through writing down what I want to say.  Even though this is true, it does not mean that writing down my thoroughly thought out responses to Bible Study questions will make me more inclined to speak and read what I wrote.  I am not very confident in what I say and write.  Yes, I have this blog, but I have not shared it with anybody I actually know, except my husband.

Another thing I thought of, is PLEASE do not look at me and say "You don't talk much" or "You are too quiet" because it makes me want to show you just how quiet I can be.  I put up a wall, as though I am being told that not talking or being quiet is a bad thing.  I get defensive about it, but instead to talking and arguing about it and showing my defensiveness verbally, I close up and hide behind myself.  I do not like to be argumentative.  I will simply smile at you and nod and not say one single word.

So, if you want to get to know me, I must first be let into your space.  I don't make friends well. I do not approach people I do not know unless I am with my husband.  (I will sometimes initiate a conversation with someone I do not know, but if I see them time and time again and they never approach me, then I tend not to go and start up more conversations with them, and I am talking more than a "Hey, how are you?" as they walk by, but a real sincere "how are you?"  One where you want to spend a while and talk.).  Most of my friends were people who first came to me and started conversations with me or as a result of befriending my husband first.  My husband and I love to have people into our homes and treat them to a meal.  I always have my husband ask people over.  I tell him to choose anyone he wants, and sometimes I tell him to choose a couple we do not know well, just for the purpose of getting to know them.  You will find, once inside our personal space, I open up a great deal more. One of my friends was told one time that I never speak to anyone, and her response was, "get her in a room alone with you, and that girl will talk."

Exodus 20:15 -- Do Not Steal

Well, it has been nearly 2 months since I have made a post on here.  I must admit I have not been doing my daily reading as I should.  Not to make excuses, because there were no good reasons why I have not been, but I did find out I was pregnant, had bad morning sickness, and then 2 weeks later found out that we lost the baby. We spent the next two weeks dealing with the miscarriage.  When that was over,all three of us got sick!  I guess when it rains it pours...  Also during this same time, my daughter gave up her morning nap, which is when I normally typed the blog and did my reading.  I am still trying to find a new normal.

Anywho, on with the bible study.

Exodus 20:15  Do not steal.

This seems pretty self explanatory.  Do not take something that does not belong to you.

Exodus 22:1 “When a man steals an ox or a sheep and butchers it or sells it, he must repay five cattle for the ox or four sheep for the sheep. 2 If a thief is caught in the act of breaking in, and he is beaten to death, no one is guilty of bloodshed. 3 But if this happens after sunrise, there is guilt of bloodshed. A thief must make full restitution. If he is unable, he is to be sold because of his theft. 4 If what was stolen—whether ox, donkey, or sheep—is actually found alive in his possession, he must repay double.

Exodus is clear about the punishment for a thief.  He must repay MORE than he took to repay the person he stole from.  If the thief cannot repay, he must be sold to cover the costs to the owner.

Proverbs 30:8 Keep falsehood and deceitful words far from me.
Give me neither poverty nor wealth;
feed me with the food I need.
9 Otherwise, I might have too much
and deny You, saying, “Who is the Lord?”
or I might have nothing and steal,
profaning the name of my God.

Here we see that stealing is the same as profaning the name of God.  When we steal, we are looking at God and saying, "I do not trust that you will provide my needs."  or we are saying, "God, I am not satisfied with what you gave me."

Let us look at one thief in the Bible

John 12:1 Six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany where Lazarus was, the one Jesus had raised from the dead. 2 So they gave a dinner for Him there; Martha was serving them, and Lazarus was one of those reclining at the table with Him. 3 Then Mary took a pound of fragrant oil—pure and expensive nard—anointed Jesus’ feet, and wiped His feet with her hair. So the house was filled with the fragrance of the oil.
4 Then one of His disciples, Judas Iscariot (who was about to betray Him), said, 5 “Why wasn’t this fragrant oil sold for 300 denarii and given to the poor?” 6 He didn’t say this because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief. He was in charge of the money-bag and would steal part of what was put in it.
7 Jesus answered, “Leave her alone; she has kept it for the day of My burial. 8 For you always have the poor with you, but you do not always have Me.”

 Judas, who the Bible calls a thief, was put in charge of the money bags.  He was so greedy for worldly wealth  that he betrayed Jesus, the one whose eternal reward is FAR more than any earthly money, for just 30 pieces of silver.  Judas's punishment was a death on a tree, hung and left to rot.

There is another thief in the Bible who repented of his thievery and is now rejoicing with Christ.

Luke 19:2 There was a man named Zacchaeus who was a chief tax collector, and he was rich. 3 He was trying to see who Jesus was, but he was not able because of the crowd, since he was a short man. 4 So running ahead, he climbed up a sycamore tree to see Jesus, since He was about to pass that way. 5 When Jesus came to the place, He looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, hurry and come down because today I must stay at your house.”
6 So he quickly came down and welcomed Him joyfully. 7 All who saw it began to complain,“He’s gone to lodge with a sinful man!”
8 But Zacchaeus stood there and said to the Lord, “Look, I’ll give half of my possessions to the poor, Lord! And if I have extorted anything from anyone, I’ll pay back four times as much!”
9 “Today salvation has come to this house,” Jesus told him, “because he too is a son of Abraham. 10 For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save the lost.”

As a tax collector, Zacchaeus took more than he should have from the people to make himself rich.  When we met Christ, he turned from that lifestyle and all those he cheated, he was willing to repay 4 times what he took.  As a result, we know that Zacchaeus will be one in heaven rejoicing with all the saints.

Judas and Zacchaeus both stole for earthly gain.  Judas saw earthly wealth as greater than the eternal whereas Zacchaeus recognized the far greater wealth of what Christ offers those who repent from their sinful ways.