Marriage and the Church

Marriage is a beautiful thing when understood rightly and in the context of  the Christian faith.  Today, the definition of marriage has been twisted and perverted and made to be something it was never intended to be all in the name of "equal rights."  A marriage is so much more than two people who love each other.  You need more than just love to make a marriage work, and work well.  A marriage needs some sort of unifying force.  Something greater than the sinful and imperfect love of humans.  For the Christian, that is Christ.  Any marriage that is truly centered on Christ and Christ alone will not falter.  Yes, there will be ups and downs, but the bond between the couple, if centered in Christ, will not break.  A marriage that falls apart is due to the sinful desires of one or both partners, so the marriage that fails is not centered on Christ but sinful human desire.

Revelation 19:6 Then I heard something like the voice of a vast multitude, like the sound of cascading waters, and like the rumbling of loud thunder, saying:
Hallelujah, because our Lord God, the Almighty,
has begun to reign!
7 Let us be glad, rejoice, and give Him glory,
because the marriage of the Lamb has come,
and His wife has prepared herself.
8 She was given fine linen to wear, bright and pure.
For the fine linen represents the righteous acts of the saints.
9 Then he said to me, “Write: Those invited to the marriage feast of the Lamb are fortunate!” He also said to me, “These words of God are true.” 10 Then I fell at his feet to worship him, but he said to me, “Don’t do that! I am a fellow slave with you and your brothers who have the testimony about Jesus. Worship God, because the testimony about Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.”

This passage describes the marriage of Christ to his church.

Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, 23 for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. 27 He did this to present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. 28 In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, 30 since we are members of His body.
31 For this reason a man will leave
his father and mother
and be joined to his wife,
and the two will become one flesh.
32 This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.

These verses further the link between marriage of a man and a woman with Christ and his Church.  A man is to be the head of the home as Christ is head of the church.  He is to love his wife as Christ loves the church.  He is to keep her pure and clean and keep pointing her towards Christ.  Likewise the wife is to submit to her husband as the church submits to Christ.  For this purpose, men and women leave their childhood homes and become one flesh in marriage, a marriage that unifies them in Christ.

I know that submission is something that many women have issues with, but I think it is because it is misunderstood.  Just think of submission to your husband this way.  If you, as wife, are supposed to represent the church and your husband is supposed to represent Christ, then imagine that your husband IS Christ.  So if your husband, who is supposed to represent the Lord Jesus Christ looked at you and said, "Honey I don't think we need new curtains or a new whatever.  I think we can use that money in a better way."  What is your first reaction?  "But I really want it!" You grumble and complain against your husband for being denied something you WANT.  While you are grumbling against your husband, you are grumbling against Christ. Against Christ!!!  The one who loved you in such a way that he went to the cross and died the most horrible death to save you from the depths of hell.  He died, sacrificed himself, so you could have the most wonderful future with God and himself in the everlasting kingdom of God. When you do not submit to your husband's authority, then you are therefore not submitting to Christ.  Now, I am not saying that you must obey EVERYTHING your husband would want for you. Remember, he still sins.  He must represent Christ, but as a man, he is still under the sin nature and will not perform that duty perfectly.  You must use your own judgement to discern when your husband is requesting of you in Christ or requesting of you through sin.  If what your husband request of you would lead you, your husband or your family to sin, then, you have every right to speak to your husband and refuse the request by explaining why you will not fulfill it.  It does not have to be an argument.

I have been blessed with a wonderful husband who does his best to represent Christ.  We have only really had one real argument in the seven years we have been married.  We had just moved away from home, almost 10 hours away, the first time I had been away from home.  We had to use a laundry mat to wash our cloths, first time for that too.  Well, my husband was supposed to get quarters for us to use the machines.  He did not because he did not know where the machine was.  (It was located in another building that was not near the laundry mat)  Well, we only had enough to wash one load and we had 3 or so.   I made a comment to him that was something like "you were supposed to get the quarters or we should have gone to find the quarter machine" and I; not sure why my husband  got mad, I do not really remember, but he did.  He said something not so nice, again I don't remember exactly what, and he proceeded to leave the laundry mat and leave me by myself.  Of course I burst into tears, which my husband melted at and the argument was over.  He stayed and we had quarters every week from then on.  From then on, we have not really argued to the point of getting mad at each other.  If fact, there are very few people who have EVER seen me mad, and my husband has never see it, truly.  I was not mad above, just hurt.  Instead of arguing every time there is a disagreement or misunderstanding, you both need to sit and discuss it.  See what the Bible says about the issue.  Why do you want it this way and why does he want it another.  Sometimes the situation just needs some clarification or explanation that cannot be given if you two are yelling and angry.

Now a woman may say, "but my husband is not a Christian, so he cannot represent Christ, because he does not know Christ."  Well, the Bible says this:

1 Peter 3:1 In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the Christian message, they may be won over without a message by the way their wives live 2 when they observe your pure, reverent lives.

Even if your husband is not saved, you should  submit to him in so much that he does not hinder your walk with God.  If you continue to live as Christ would have you live, you my be able to win your husband to Christ without saying a word, but by the way you live your life and treat him and your family.  Just because your husband is not saved, doesn't mean you do not have to submit.

Marriage is so much more than "I love you."  It is a way of life in which you and your husband demonstrate Christ's love for his church through the way you live, in loving, caring, submitting, and every other good and pleasing thing to God.

Genesis 20 -- He is my brother

Genesis 20:1 From there Abraham traveled to the region of the Negev and settled between Kadesh and Shur. While he lived in Gerar, 2 Abraham said about his wife Sarah, “She is my sister.”So Abimelech king of Gerar had Sarah brought to him.
3 But God came to Abimelech in a dream by night and said to him, “You are about to die because of the woman you have taken, for she is a married woman.”
4 Now Abimelech had not approached her, so he said, “Lord, would You destroy a nation even though it is innocent? 5 Didn’t he himself say to me, ‘She is my sister’? And she herself said, ‘He is my brother.’ I did this with a clear conscience and clean hands.”
6 Then God said to him in the dream, “Yes, I know that you did this with a clear conscience. I have also kept you from sinning against Me. Therefore I have not let you touch her. 7 Now return the man’s wife, for he is a prophet, and he will pray for you and you will live. But if you do not return her, know that you will certainly die, you and all who are yours.”
8 Early in the morning Abimelech got up, called all his servants together, and personally told them all these things, and the men were terrified.
9 Then Abimelech called Abraham in and said to him, “What have you done to us? How did I sin against you that you have brought such enormous guilt on me and on my kingdom? You have done things to me that should never be done.” 10 Abimelech also said to Abraham, “What did you intend when you did this thing?”
11 Abraham replied, “I thought, ‘There is absolutely no fear of God in this place. They will kill me because of my wife.’ 12 Besides, she really is my sister, the daughter of my father though not the daughter of my mother, and she became my wife. 13 So when God had me wander from my father’s house, I said to her: Show your loyalty to me wherever we go and say about me: ‘He’s my brother.’”
14 Then Abimelech took sheep and cattle and male and female slaves, gave them to Abraham, and returned his wife Sarah to him. 15 Abimelech said, “Look, my land is before you. Settle wherever you want.” 16 And he said to Sarah, “Look, I am giving your brother 1,000 pieces of silver. It is a verification of your honor to all who are with you. You are fully vindicated.”
17 Then Abraham prayed to God, and God healed Abimelech, his wife, and his female slaves so that they could bear children, 18 for the Lord had completely closed all the wombs in Abimelech’s household on account of Sarah, Abraham’s wife.

So, Abraham told his wife to again deny he was her husband. First with Pharoah and now with Abimelech. Abraham did this out of fear for his life. The Lord was merciful to the King and warned him of who Sarah was before he took her. The King obeyed the warning and returned Sarah to Abraham. He was understandably upset at Abraham for not telling him that Sarah was his wife. Again though, we see Abraham did not lie. Sarah is his sister. They have the same father. Through this event, Abimelech and his family were blessed by God through Abraham's prayer.

In this passage we see Sarah's  submission to her husband when she willingly tells the king that she is Abraham's sister.  Abraham told her to "Show your loyalty to me wherever we go and say about me: ‘He’s my brother.'"  She obeyed him and did this.

1 Peter 3:5 For in the past, the holy women who put their hope in God also beautified themselves in this way, submitting to their own husbands, 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. You have become her children when you do what is good and are not frightened by anything alarming.

This passage, though referencing a slightly different story, shows that by submitting to our husband's, we become children of Sarah.  Sarah was the mother of the chosen people.  We, as Christians, are also God's chosen people through Christ.